Thanksgiving

I was just thinking about life in general the other day.  Just what is it that really brings joy and contentment into my life?  Personally I have discovered, it’s not the material things, where I drive myself to death trying to obtain something that will only bring temporary happiness.  I have realized that it’s in relationships that I find true happiness.  Going out with a friend and having a cup of coffee, seeing her smile.  It warms my heart.  Or maybe she is in a tough spot, and I am there just to give her comfort, a shoulder to cry on, I get blessed.  Having a husband that appreciates the little things I do, makes me happy.  When I hear my oldest son’s voice on the other end of the phone, I get excited.  When my older daughter stops by I am thrilled! Talking to my sister, who might as well live on the other end of the earth, because I cannot see her as much as I would love to, makes me happy.  Greeting everyone at church on Sunday Morning, brings me joy.

This weekend I had an opportunity to work with a group of people I love and we had fun.  It did not seem like work because we were having a good time just being around each other.  The most precious gift I have is a personal, intimate relationship with the Lord.  Sitting before him each morning, just melts my heart.  I know he will be with me throughout the day and that I can handle anything that comes my way, because he is beside me.  This is the greatest gift of all.

Then I have two very precious little people in my life that I cannot say enough about.  Our grandchildren!  Phoenix and Phoebe.  I love just observing them.  The simple things that bring them joy.  Give Phoenix a stick and he will find 5 different ways to play with it.  He does not have to have expensive toys, he loves beating and drumming on anything.  Phoebe is younger and just loves undivided attention.  She is just so proud of every little thing new that she can do.  Her giggles, are worth a million dollars to me.  I am looking forward to watching them grow and become what God has planned for them.

I was honored this weekend to go on a short Retreat.  It was a wonderful experience and priceless.  It was like a taste of heaven.  I had time to spend alone with the Lord.  A whole day!  We walked, he talked and I listened.  I could really feel his presence.  I felt special, treasured like he had nothing better to do than just hang out with me.  Could you put a price on that?

As I look at my life, I notice it’s the simple things in life that really matters.  Swinging on swings, camping, fellowship, phone calls to those you love, having meals with friends and family, Woman’s Bible Study, helping others, sitting at a park, writing.  Writing is probably the cheapest hobby you can have and it’s good for the soul.

Another thing I have found is that God has put a desire within each of us to be close to nature.  Some love the forest, others love the ocean, some of us like to watch the sunrise, than there are those of us who like to watch the sun go down.  There are so many beautiful things to admire, if we will just take the time to slow down and look around. You know the phrase “count your blessings one by one.”  It’s true we’re rich if we will just take the time to look.

You know the phrase “count your blessings one by one.”  It’s true, we’re rich if we will just take the time to look.

Writing:My War

                                                      

So I’ve been told that I am gifted at this art.  If so why do I find it difficult to sit and do it? I have been going through some hard times emotionally, the last thing I want to do,  is sit here and try to put words down on paper.  I seem to have a difficult time concentrating on what I want to say or where to go.

When I first started, I thought I would write about my autobiography but I don’t really want to open that door tonight.  It’s a painful place for me.  I don’t want to go to bed all worked up.  I will share the reason I believe, I struggle in this area.

As a child, I learned to write because that was the only way I could communicate to my father.  My dad had anger issues, and did not know how to handle any signs of emotions.  If I would try to share something with him he would get irate, and call me names.  Sometimes, he would get so mad, that his ears and neck would turn red.  So I felt safer to write to him.  At least I was able to get my feelings out. 

  Many times I’d get the same reaction, as if I would have spoken to him.  What hurt me even more is that he would rip up my paper, which to me felt like he was ripping my heart out.

So now, I must tell myself that this is something the Lord has given me and that it’s safe.  No one will be ripping this paper in my face or calling me names.  That I am to continue and share my story, so I can encourage others.  That the Lord delights in my work.

Now that my words are down on this paper, it feels good.  I’ve accomplished what I had set out to do.  I may have to find another time of day to do this.  I am not an evening person but I did enjoy this, better than watching T.V. for hours on end.  I had always wondered for a long time what I was creative at. I believe I have discovered it.  It’s a battle, but I’m a fighter and I will conquer this wall!

    

                                                

The Grand Canyon And All It's Wonders

There is no word that can describe such a magnificent, spectacular hole in this earth!  Our trip was more than we could ever fathom.  It took 13 years to arrive, but it was well worth the wait.  We went up there with intentions to hike around the South Rim and discovered we had more fun camping.  When I say we, I mean hubby and me.

We have not been camping alone in 20 some odd years.  There were no kids to chase after, no kids to dress, no assembly line for Smores or breakfast.  We could sit back and smell the sweet aroma of coffee brewing in the morning, while we warmed up over an open fire.  I love camping, because that's the only time I get breakfast cooked for me.   We didn't sleep well the first night  because the mattress had a leak. I believe that's why many people choose to stay in hotels or lodges.  However, there is nothing like sleeping under the stars, listening to the crickets chirping.  I felt so at home, so at peace.  It didn't matter that there was marshmallows smeared on my face, and sticky fingers.  It was going to stay there until the morning when it warmed up a bit.  It hit about 45 at night.  I made sure to bring plenty of clothing to stay warm and even had hats and gloves.  As long as my hands and head stay warm, I'm fine.

I didn't sleep so well the second night, either.  It was so dry that I had drank a lot of water which means I had to use the ladies room a lot, throughout the night.  The first night I had no problem walking through the dark woods, just me and my little flashlight.  I think it's because I was on a natural high, just being there.  Everything was so fresh and beautiful!  The second night was different.  I felt a little uncomfortable going alone in the woods.  So the second time that I had gone, I asked my hunnybun to come with me, but there was no waking him.  What was I going to do?  I had to go!  So I mustard up courage and went.  Just as I was coming back and stepped onto the campsite, I heard a coyote hollering nearby.  I never jumped into a tent so fast in my life!  Not only that, but they now have remote control LED lanterns!  That is the greatest invention for all mankind as far as I am concerned!  I pushed that button so fast, I have never seen a light go off so quick.

The greatest gift was being in God's world.  Listening to the birds sing.  Watching them scavenge for food.  Staring at the moon and the great vast of stars.  The crisp cool air.  (We live in the desert)  Pine trees as far as you can see. The crackling of the campfire.Getting down on the ground to take snapshots of beautiful wildflowers.  Freedom from responsibilities.   Time was on our side, I had a chance to finish reading a book.  Acknowledging that we were a couple again, feeling young and vibrant. Playing games we use to play when we were only 17 and on our own.  Laughter, memories and living just in the moment.  Such a treat. 

Today is Sunday

For most Christians Sunday is a day where we go to the house of the Lord to worship.  To learn about Gods ways.    Recently I have discovered that it's more than that.  It's a place where he calls us to gather together to share our lives with one another.  I understood that each of us are filled with the Spirit, but did not grasp hold of what that truly meant.  God has called us to fellowship with one another because within each of us is a character of God.  God desires for us to become more like Jesus.  If we neglect being around one another, we will stunt our growth.

So why am I here writing today.  There is a time when you need solitude.  I don't have that opportunity very often, so I am taking advantage of it.  I have been going through some hard stuff and I need to be alone with my Abba Father.  I believe we definitely need each other, but the most important relationship is with God.  I am a people person and i have no problem picking up the phone and reaching out, or making a lunch date with friends.  There are so many ways to fellowship within the body, just make sure you do.

As for Sundays, don't neglect them.  Their just as crucial.  It's a time to gather as a family, a body of believers to hug, encourage, exhort and open our hearts to the one who loves us the most, God himself!

Fathers Day

I would like to say the greatest Fathers Day I had witness was Dec. 30, 1983.  My husband had just witness the birth of his first born.  A son.  The glory of God was shining in his face.  Even though we were not followers at the time, nothing can be more convincing that there is a God when you see the process of a human being coming forth.  It was so touching for my husband, he jumped for joy.  He was so excited, that he almost knocked a guy out trying to exit the room to go make phone calls.  We probably weren't prepare to be parents, but one thing we knew for sure, we loved this little bundle of joy that God had given to us.  God not only chose to bless us with one child but we had four more given to us as we matured.

I would have to say being a father is probably one of my husbands greatest joys in life.  It is by no means one of the easiest jobs, but definitely rewarding.  I have seen through the years where my husband has taken on the responsibilities to being a Godly father, and a wonderful grandfather.  We pray, now that when our children or grandchildren enter our home, they will smell the sweet aroma of Jesus presence, comfort and peace. 

So I just want to take this time to thank God that my husband has yielded and surrender his life to the one and only who can help with such an important calling.

Do You Know Him?

There once was this girl who was very devestated.  Hurting deep within her soul.  Feeling lost, confused, and angry.  One day the pain was too much to bare.  She heard about this man called Jesus, who would take all her pain and sorrows.  Make her feel new inside, clean and wanted.  That he would take all her sins and washed them away.  Make her whiter than snow.  She knew that this is what she needed.  Her life was heading for destruction.

This Jesus called out to her  "Come to me and I will give your rest."  She had become so weary, so she ran to him.  She fell into his arms and wept.  Peace at last.  A love that filled her from top to bottom.  A friend that would walk with her, no matter where she went.  Someone that would never let go or ever hurt her.  They have been together now for 25 years and she is still learning who this man is.  This she knows, he is faithful, true and kind.  Loving, forgiving, caring and always available.  He would never leave her or forsake her. He values her and cherishes her and wants to love on her.  Jesus is her best friend.

Looking Back

Looking Back.  I understand now why we are to let go of the past and live for today.  Every now and then I catch myself wanting to look back and feel sorry for myself in how this disease I have, robbed me of the joys of motherhood.  Before I got ill I was totally engrossed in my children.  They were my life!  There was nothing more I desired than to be a mother.  Well, God blessed me with four beautiful children.  I got sick in 1995 , which meant my oldest was 12 and the youngest was two.  My 9 year old daughter took it upon herself to become the mother.  She took care of the two year old.  When she went to school she would worry about him.  Who was going to take care of him? I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed.  Needless to say, my "perfect" family became quite dysfunctional.Since I was unable to take care of the children, my husband had to quit his good paying job so he could be home with the kids.  We ended up going bankrupt.  We lost our home, our new car and no where to go, with four children.  I just so happen to have a friend in Phoenix, AZ that had a rental house.

My husband and some friends worked a week on getting this used car running so we could travel to the unknown.  Little did I know that God had a plan for us.  The people who rented us the home gave us a free months rent while Mark found a job.  Mark landed a job the first week we were here!  Then my parents happen to be on vacation and they were right here in Phoenix.  So they were able to help us move in and bought groceries for the first week.  We were totally broke when we arrived.  We were counting pennies at the last hotel.  The home we rented was right down the street from one of the most beautiful parks in Phoenix.  The elementary school was just across the street, we were within 4 grocery stores all within a mile, and had a beautiful Library about 3 miles from home.  Now all we needed to find was a church.  It took 3 years til' I found the place I could call home.

This body of believers accepted me for who I was.  They loved on me and told me that God loved me.  I was not cursed, rejected, rebellious or hopeless.  I am in a place today where I feel total acceptance from God and his joy just overflows within me.  I know he allowed me to experience what I did so I can help others.  God had to bring me to AZ. so that I can be ministered to and learn who I am in him.  That's where your power comes from.  Knowing him.

So I have a choice.  I can choose to look back in bitterness, saying I missed that crucial part of my life or I can say God you were there taking care of everything.  By everything I mean, he has given me a second chance with children and that is my grandchildren.  Little did I know how nuts one can be over their grandchildren.  I feel God is giving me my reward because I didn't give up on him.  As for my children they are grown, responsible happy adults.  I still have one who is at home and he is talking about going into the service.  God did a better job raising them than I could have ever done.  He even blessed us with a teenager later in life.